I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you.

if nothing sticks to teflon what makes the teflon stick to the pan?
i don't know what teflon is

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Who keeps glue in bottles?

Is it wrong for a vegetarian to eat animal crackers?
Is it wrong for animal crackers to eat vegetarians?

If people from Poland are called ""poles"" are people from Holland called ""holes?""
Yeah, and people from Soland got soul

Can you cry under water?
the water knows my pain

Is there an abbreviation for the word abbreviation?
well I guess if people misspell it as abreviation that counts?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
It's about mental state duh

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
Isn't there a movie like that? maybe not but sounds familiar

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
on a snowplow?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it is called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it is called cargo?
wow that's deep. I guess you're always left wandering could the cargo any faster. Ahahaha!

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
No, you become a dick

What is another word for thesaurus?
a saurus

Why is abbreviation such a long word?
cause it's a hypocrite

What do they use to ship styrofoam?
boxes

When sign makers go on strike, what do their signs say?
i think most are printed so it's okay

Is it okay to shoot tourists during tourist season?
If no one notices then okay

Why can't we tickle ourselves?
because the ticklemonster says he'll call you back but he never does

Why does the word 'monosyllabic' have five syllables?
don't be so insensitive. You should accept all syllables without question

Why do they call a building a buildingwhen it is alread built?
Why is this survey full of typos?

If seven-elevens are always open, why do they have locks on their doors?
Probably a precaution

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown, too?
only if they're dedicated enough

If honesty is the best policy, then is dishonesty the second best policy?
of course. How else would politicians get so far? Huehuehue

When a cow laughs, does milk come out of its nose?
I lol'd

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how will anyone ever know?
Autocorrect