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Ever hate those memories that just make you cry?

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Eh... I suppose I've never really asked anyone out there, but is there anything that's happened in your life that just... affected you greatly? I mean, me getting diagnosed with cancer is nothing compared to what happened this year. Yanno... because of that and everything else that's been happening his year, I can voice my opinion and say that 2009 is the worst year ever. Bar none.

There's just an event that happened this Easter that I'm... never going to get over. I mean this. It still hurts, you know? *sighs* I mean... I never thought that it would happen. I kind of always had this, 'the glass is half-full' outlook and always told my boyfriend that 'things will work out'.... Well... I really wish that that was the case over April.

Ah... god.... Just reminded of this after listening to only these lyrics from Metro Station's "Now That We're Done":

"-- I'm so sorry,
Why did I lie?
I'm so sorry,
I know I hurt you,
I know I hurt you,"

It kind of just had me sitting by my computer thinking that that sounded like something that my boyfriend would say. Heh... jeeze... really hope he's having fun wherever the heck he is. I miss him a lot, but I guess that's to be expected.

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  1. Phoenicks's Avatar
    Maybe when I realized that I was gay. Aside from that, I haven't lived long enough to experience most of life's tradegies.

    Sorry you're feeling bad.
  2. Zephy's Avatar

    The songs "Lost Cause" by Beck and "Creep" by Radiohead can make me cry. Remember this-you're an awesome person.
  3. Nicoleta01's Avatar
    Life throws us all curve balls at times. D= For me, putting my 17 year old dog asleep due to her failing liver crushed me, and I still don't like talking about it...But gotta look forward.
    Life is like a dark tunnel at times, keep travelling and you'll find the light. =D
  4. P N N K's Avatar
    Don't get down on yourself; because we all make choices, and sometimes things like this happen to us.
    In my eyes, you may be a little different, but that doesn't matter to me. In fact, being different is the same thing as unique.
    So, celebrate being unique! :)
  5. Shiay's Avatar
    Ehehe.... Thanks everyone. Just... I mean, death is kind of one of those things that's really hard to cope with and accept. I guess I'm just, once again, going through that today. It's one of those things that you just... can't really believe happened. When all you've got are memories... it starts to feel as if it's all been made up. Well... to me, anyways.... But, knowing that they happened and having that securely set in mind... I try not to let the other thoughts try to block that out. Eheh...
  6. Light Fang's Avatar
    When my dog Sugar was hit by a car at night I was fine but when I was alone I broke down into tears then there was the time when two of dogs ran away. I try to forget those times but i can't.
  7. Yoshi-san's Avatar
    I always wished that the Penseive was real....I have some memories I wish I can forget but I can't and I need to go on with them...
  8. Turtle Tamer Kammy's Avatar
    When I was 15 my 2 closest friends wrote me a hate letter. It still hurts to think about, even though we're friends again.
  9. ShadowDeeps's Avatar
    Shiay, I apologize deeply that this is so late. And the written word can, by concurrence, only work to an intensely impended point in all its failings, but....

    I do hope with all my heart and soul that you feel better about the deaths of such extolled ones and I also want you to know that people like me are here to support you, no matter what. To what notion is the why of death searched, we may never know.... because it might not be as rudimentary as that at all (which may be spoken with a tight voice for some - for me, an eager one as I love commanding and ineffable enigmas in all the fleeting ganders they bear to life).

    But I can relate when you say only memories stay life.... I do wholeheartedly hope those now gone from you and most loved are flamboyantly flaunting in infinite peace and happiness. Death is abrupt in nature, but it's also so profoundly impacting, I think, when it's dealt to those closest, because those closest ARE a part of you, for yourself... thus, a part of you dies when they do. I do have such memories... but I tend to think to the positives of my life and what I have that I value so much, as friendship is everything to me, as my most close bond with !Tommy can be a testament to (who I couldn't live or do without).

    But one could say the soul is infinite and that there is no "death" as much as "loss of access" in all the spiritual structures and conundrums of lore that ruminates upon. Then again, I think life is taken for granted too much for most. That speaks so many bounds, worlds, and volumes. Don't live in reticent fear for your lonesome, but live in fulgent appreciation. Appreciation becomes wholly divergent when it's a closest companion and friend who you lose.

    I feel death is no game or toy, for toys and games are only windows and previews into life in my eyes. As much as it is an engrossing mystery, by my view, it's something that indeed reminds us just how precious even the smallest things in life that we'd usually deem hence to be "paltry" are unanimously. But I've twaddled and rattled on long enough. I pray and hope things improve for you with all my heart, and that with my soul in full, that everyone who has died and who is held closest, for you, are in an infinitely better place. From what I garner, you're quite a kindhearted and perceptive person who didn't deserve anything near being bereaved of your loved ones and friends, so I say nothing less of all this, for you. We're all always here for you.
    Updated 24th July 2009 at 12:54 AM by ShadowDeeps
  10. P N N K's Avatar
    Because of things that have happened to me in real life (aka I was shot in the face with an arisoft gun multiple times at very close range for no reason, I was bleeding) I have horrible nightmares every day, I usually wake up drenched in sweat with my face hurting immensly for hours if I have that particular dream.
    So, even though you have it a lot worse than most people, including me, you're not alone. We're all here for you.
    Death is horrible. I'm so sorry this happened to you, your so nice. You didn't deserve it.


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