Supermassive Blog Hole

Not the colour, the mobile service provider. I'm trying to top up my phone but it's got this stupid voice recognition service that takes all my details and it can't understand 80% of the stuff I tell it. I have a slightly geordie accent (Northeast England) but this is England! Everyone has a strong accent depending on what part you're from. The thing that it can't understand the most is when I tell it that my name is 'Hayley'. I've tried about five times and so far it's responded with Katie, Kayleigh, Lily, Tilly and even Isla O.o

The worst part is when it asks you to confirm if it's correct by saying yes or no. It usually repeats the word 'no' back to me in a mock geordie accent or on one occassion it said 'Noel, is that correct'? Yes voice recognition, my name is Noel >.>

It eventually says in so many words 'I can't understand a f**king word you're saying' and attempts to put me through to a representative (actually human) but alas, I don't have the funds to make the call because my phone has no credit. So to top up you have to actually be topped up already.