Emotional Turmoil At Its Worst
by, 6th February 2010 at 04:12 AM (451 Views)
Warning: If you don't much care to endure the relentless rants of whiny teenagers such as myself, please turn away now.
I'm fairly sure that my relationship with my girlfriend has been strained from the beginning. I wanted to focus on building and improving it—admittedly, with a few selfish intentions in mind, but nothing too extreme—but she insists we should keep it exceedingly simple until we're more experienced.
I'm guessing she doesn't really want to go through with this whole thing just yet—she even told me once that she thinks she isn't ready for a relationship. So, I recommended we terminate it.
On top of that, I find myself attracted to another girl—one with many more flaws. This girl spent the majority of her life in an orphanage, having been abandoned by her biological mother. She has since been adopted by friends of my family, but she's still a bit....on-edge. And that's putting it lightly.
Life in the orphanage taught her to trust no one. She's aggressive, secretive, borderline suicidal, and a suspected underage alcoholic....she needs help. She needs someone who'll care for her. Someone who'll assure her that she's out of the woods now.
I have discussed this with several people, including my current girlfriend, who said she needed time to think things over. My music teacher sympathizes, but a "friend" of mine on RuneScape—my best friend in the game, no less—pretty much went ballistic, insisting that I'm too old for both my current girlfriend and the other girl. I hear enough of that bullshit from my mother—who also insists I'm too young!
I've received conflicting advice, harsh criticism and much anxiety from all of this. As a finishing touch, I have deadlines to meet, schoolwork to finish, a band to put together and a mother who's getting shoulder surgery very soon and, as a result, might lose her job due to inability to work. In short, I'M FUCKING STRESSED.
If you've made it this far, I applaud your ability and willingness to endure my whining. I also apologize—I imagine this entry is my dethroning moment of suck.
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