A Wizard is Never Late.

Soviet Political Jokes.

, 7th August 2012 at 12:14 PM (183 Views)

I stumbled upon a Wikipedia article antitled "Russian political joke." I'd like to share some of my favsies. Yep, it's that kind of a day.

Every morning a man would come up to the newspaper stand, and buy a copy of Pravda, look at the front page and then toss it angrily into the near-by bin. The newspaper-seller was intrigued. "Excuse me," he said to the man, "Every morning you buy a copy of Pravda from me and chuck it in the bin without even opening it. What do you buy it for?" "I'm only interested in the front page,' replied the man. 'I'm looking out for a death notice." "But you don't get death notices on the front page," said the newspaper-seller, taken aback. "I assure you, the death notice I'm looking for will be on the front page."

Q: Is it true that there is freedom of speech in the Soviet Union the same as there is in the USA?

A: In principle, yes. In the USA, you can stand in front of the White House in Washington, DC, and yell, "Down with Reagan!", and you will not be punished. Just the same, you can stand in the Red Square in Moscow and yell, "Down with Reagan!", and you will not be punished.

Armenian Radio was asked: "Is it true that conditions in our labor camps are excellent?" Armenian Radio answers: "It is true. Five years ago a listener of ours raised the same question and was sent to one, reportedly to investigate the issue. He hasn't returned yet; we are told he liked it there."

In a prison, two inmates share their experience. "What did they arrest you for?" one of them asks. "Was it a political or common crime?" "Of course political. I'm a plumber. They summoned me to the district Party committee to fix the sewage pipes. I looked and said, 'Hey, the entire system requires replacement.' So, they gave me seven years."

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Comments

mariowie - 7th August 2012 12:35 PM
I chuckled at some of them. But I didn't get the first one though
Lord Clowncrete - 7th August 2012 12:37 PM
Once in USSR, there lived a parrot named Boris with his master Ivan. Boris had a habit of shouting "Down with Communism" and "Stalin Sux". One day, some neighbors heard it and reported it to the KGB. The KGB arrived at Ivan's house and knocked on the door. Through the peephole, Ivan saw that it was the KGB and got scared. He quickly hid Boris in the freezer of his fridge and then opened the door. The KGB searched the entire house and found nothing. When they were about to leave, one of them thought about the freezer and searched it. He found Boris completely frozen there.

They thawed Boris and Boris immediately shouted, "Long live our republics!", "Long live Communism!". The officials were pleased and left.

Later Ivan asked Boris, "what changed you?" Boris replied, "Some time in Siberia."

TheMissingno., Red and amethystGoblin like this.
yourlilemogirl - 7th August 2012 12:51 PM
i read the beginning of the sentence as "i stabbed Wikipedia" :U
I need more sleep it seems.
TheMissingno. - 7th August 2012 12:59 PM
@mariowie; He was looking for the death of Stalin.
Lord Clowncrete - 7th August 2012 01:09 PM
@TheShuckpluff;

Here is another:

Once a 90-year old Jew in the Ussr was sitting on a bench on a street and learning Hebrew from a book. A KGB official walked to him and asked, "Old man! You don't have much to live, why are you learning this now?"

The Old man replied, "So that I can chat with other members of heaven when I get there." The KGB official chuckled and said,"What if you go to hell?" To which the old man replied, "I already know Russian."

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Red - 7th August 2012 01:36 PM
Lol