DracoMan

A woman is looking at herself in the mirror and, basically, hating everything she sees. "Look at this mess," she says about herself. "My face is wrinkled like a rasin, what little hair I have left is white as a ghost, the bags under my eyes look like suitcases, and my legs look like they belong to an elephant!"

Her husband, meanwhile, is watching her self-deprication without saying a word.

She turns to him and says, "Well? Isn't there anything ...

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press "2."

If you have multiple personalities, please press "3," "4," "5," and "6."

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Please stay on the line until we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, please listen carefully and a little ...

Yesterday, I posed this riddle:

If only DEAD people understand hexadecimal, how many people understand hexadecimal?

Adamant submitted the correct answer: 57005.

For those of you who aren't math wizards, that's 13X(16^3) + 14X(16^2) + 10X16 + 13.

And, for the record, the only real reason I do riddles is because I'm guaranteed two days' worth of blog posts for one bit of material. Again, this is what happens when you're as crappy at planning ...

Here's one for you math geniuses.

You're probably familiar with this math joke:

There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't.

For those who fall in the second category, 10 in binary is 2 in decimal, which is the number system that everyone else uses. (As a side note, I'm pretty sure you can find that joke in every computer lab everywhere.) Well, there's a similar joke:

If only DEAD people understand ...

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

A bean supper will be held on ...