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  1. College Students Say The Darndest Things, Part 3

    Who teaches these kids about history? All of my former teachers would be appalled at these statements:

    Christianity was just another mystery cult until Jesus was born. The mother of Jesus was Mary, who was different from other women because of her immaculate contraption.

    Eventually Christian started the new religion with sayings like, "The mice shall inherit the earth." Later Christians fortunately abandoned this idea.

    Christianity finally became ...
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  2. College Students Say The Darndest Things, Part 2

    These are a few more signs that college students and history apparently don't mix:

    Greek semen ruled the Agean. We know about this thanks to Homer's story about Ulysees Grant and Iliad, the painful wife he left behind.

    King Xerox of Persia invaded Greace, but fell off short at the battle of Thermosalami. Philip of Mastodon captured Greece and then was killed in a family sprawl.

    Alexander the Great conquered Persia, Egypt, and Japan. Sadly, he died with ...
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  3. College Students Say The Darndest Things, Part 1

    The following are actual statements by students in college-level history classes as compiled by Professor Anders Henriksson in the book Non Campus Mentis.

    Bible legend states that the trouble started after Eve ate the Golden Apple of Discord. This was the forbidding fruit. An angry God sent his wraith. Man fell from the space of grace. It was mostly downhill skiing from there.

    Civilization woozed out of the Nile about 300,000 years ago. The Nile was a river that had ...
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  4. Hard Times

    Once upon a time, there was a king who had a beautiful daughter, the princess. Unfortunately, the princess was plagued by a curse that anything she touched would melt. The king consulted his greatest wizard, who told him that is the princess should touch something without it melting, the curse would be broken. The king immediately put out the call for someone to bring an object that would not melt from the princess' touch.

    The first young man to come forward brought an iron bar, which ...
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  5. Perfection

    Once upon a time, the perfect woman and the perfect man met and fell in love. After a perfect courtship, they decided to get married.

    Their marriage was, of course, perfect.

    One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus came down their chimney. Unfortunately, it was obvious that he wasn't feeling too well (on account of a bad glass of eggnog earlier). He was so ill, in fact, that he was worried that he wouldn't complete his deliveries by morning.

    The man and woman, ...
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