Chappy no. 2
by, 22nd July 2008 at 07:20 AM (584 Views)
Saturn Takes a Driving Test
You know how Saturn loves Spongebob? Well, his obsession with it was apparent ever since it first came out. Spongebob became Saturn’s role model, which cut into how he behaved, and how he drove.
“So, Saturn, this is you seventy-second time to do this driving test, eh?” a stocky old woman asked him, climbing into the side of the car with a clipboard and pen in hand.
“That’s right, ma’am,” A slightly younger Saturn than the one we know today replied goofily. She glared at him through triangular spectacles and snarled.
“And you’ve failed each test each and every time?”
“Let’s hope for our sakes you pass this time, then.”
Saturn climbed into the driver’s seat. The only wheeled vehicle he knew how to drive was his Harley Davidson Motorcycle. And his dad’s private yacht, but that was it. Get him in a plane, car, helicoptor, submarine, anything...... He will find a way to crash it. Even if he isn’t driving.
He buckled his seatbelt and took the written test rather fluidly, but once it was time to turn on the car....... Fluid wasn’t in his vocabulary.
He forgot to put the car into neutral, and pushed the gas petal a little too hard. Okay, little was a HEEEE-UGE understatement. “Am I doing good so far?” he asked, narrowly avoiding crashing into the school itself.
“No,” the teacher promptly stated. (I will continue to call her ‘the teacher’ because she has no official name. She’s just an extra. HAHA.) “And I do believe the word is WELL.”
“Ohhhhhh. So you’re saying I’m doing well. Not good!” Saturn said excitedly, turning a corner so sharply he almost collided into a large oak tree off the side of the road.
“Ack! No! You’re doing terribly!”
“Actually, my previous teachers said that if nobody died, I was doing great. So... We’re both alive, aren’t we? GASP! Unless you’re a ghost!” The car started swerving out of control while Saturn blabbed, horrified, that his own teacher may come from the supernatural.
“Aw, boy...... No, I am NOT a ghost. And I-”
“Uh-huh, yeah, that’s what they ALL say.”
“As I was SAYING...... I had no idea what your previous teachers may have told you. But you’re still failing the test horribly.”
Saturn smiled. “The last teacher told me I was worse than her husband on the day of attonement, annoying-wise.”
“UGH! Just stop THE CAR!”
“And, how would I....... do that?”
“Hit the brakes!”
So Saturn..... Did what he was told. Out of nowhere, he pulled out a rather large [ish] bat and pulled his legs up onto the seat. Then he brought the bat down on the brake pedal. Sparks flew everywhere, and the car sped up quite quickly. “Okay, I HIT THE BRAKES! like you told me!” Saturn said happily, having no idea what he had just done or what kind of danger he’d put the two in.
“NO! You broke them!”
“I broke the brakes.... I broke the brakes..... Ha, try saying that ten times fast.”
“SATURN! Don’t you see? NOW WE CAN’T STOP THE CAR! WE’RE GOING TO DIIIIIIEEEE........!” The teacher pulled her clipboard up to her face as Saturn tried to understand what she meant. Something was going to stop the car eventually. Maybe...... If he kept driving, he could manage to make it safely across the course until it ran out of fuel. He gripped the steering wheel and drove like rubbish.
In the end, Saturn pulled the car to a stop about a mile into the course. The gas had finally ran out after seven hours of non-stop driving. He was sweating, completely worn out, and needed about a three day nap.
“Well.....” an exhausted teacher sighed, writing a few last things down on her clipboard. “You failed the test, but you saved our lives.”
“Yeah, well.....” Saturn kicked back, putting his feet up on the dashboard. “It was nothing.”
“C’mon, out of the car.”
The two got out, and started heading back to the school. Saturn yawned the whole way, and the teacher remained silent. Once they finally got back, it was eight forty-seven on the clock.
“Congratulations, my student. You’ve earned your driver’s license.”
“What? I thought you said I failed?”
“You did. But you saved our lives in the end..... Plus I feel sorry for you. Seventy-two times? Just take it.” She took out a driver’s license from the reception desk’s top drawer.
“Al-ri-ight! I got my li-sence!” he started dancing out the door.
“WAIT! Before you go, some advice for you. Drive slowly, and rarely, because you’re complete rubbish at it.”
And Saturn left. Little did the teacher know she’d unleashed the world’s largest nightmare apon the streets of the Sinnoh region.
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