So many birthday acknowledgments!
by, 12th January 2012 at 12:14 AM (495 Views)
I wanted to thank everybody who wished me a happy birthday here today. I think about 19 of you guys did that? O_o The sentiments are mega-appreciated; I just didn't think that so many people would be acknowledging my birthday here. Especially since I forget birthdays for everyone else here all the time. XD I totally don't deserve it.
Yesterday, I had a sonigram/ultrasound done. Not for reasons you might think at first because I've never been sexually active, but I've long suspected that I may have endometriosis. Look it up if you wish, but basically it's an issue with your reproductive organs that can make your menstrual cycles pure hell. And mine are definitely pure hell. My aunt has endometriosis and only one ovary; she's practically infertile. There's a greater chance of having endometriosis if it's in your family.
For the most part, things looked good, but the gynecologist told me that I did have an ovarian cyst. He called it a "hormonal cyst" but said there's really no formal term for it. It wasn't necessarily a serious deal, but the cyst is likely the cause for why I have such devastating periods and up to 2 weeks of serious emotionally unstable PMS. So whenever I'm being a REALLY huge asshole or extremely negative around these parts, odds are that's me PMSing. I've got a wide variety of PMS symptoms and while it usually involves irrational anger, I'm also prone to extreme depression and can cry at the turn of a dime, or become ravenously hungry, or sleep for 10-14 hours straight. It's a major challenge to suppress these extreme feelings where I work; even the slightest inconvenience caused by a coworker can piss me off for the rest of the day. Seeing as I'm trying my best to maintain a good impression so I can keep this job through the remainder of my probationary period (ending April 26th), keeping my PMS under control is very important but also nearly impossible to do so completely. It's no good to let it all out at home, since my mom and I have a tendency to sync up a lot and we'll usually end up yelling at each other like maniacs.
And that is why you'll see a lot of negativity from me here. Once I'm PMSing, I'll come off far more bitchy than I mean to be, and as I said, symptoms can differ every cycle. So this time it's a mix of anger, depression, ravenous hunger, and being extremely self-defensive.
The reason I'm bringing this up is because I'll soon be trying my first official means of suppressing my crazed hormones: the pill. My mom's been doing everything in her power to not get me on birth control because A) I'm not sexually active, B) It only made HER symptoms worse, so there's a good chance it'll worsen things for me as well, and C) She's heard a story of someone whose daughter died outright from only taking a single pill. She wasn't a smoker, but she had died from blood clotting issues. A fairly rare case, as far as I'm told, but naturally once a mother hears that something like that is even remotely possible, she'll do what she can to protect me from it.
But now we're in a position where the gynecologist is very insistent that I give it a try. He says if it does actually worsen my symptoms or flat-out not work at all, then odds are I do have endometriosis. If it does work, then I'll finally have my solution... hopefully. I have to take it the Sunday after my period starts. So hopefully it starts, like, SOON and not on fucking Monday or something. I've been cramping all day, actually, so it can't be too far away.
Hopefully the pill won't intensify the hormones or anything, or else I'm going to be reeeeeally messed up in all areas of my life.
Uh, with all that said, thanks again for all the happy birthday wishes! :') Not that being 26 is anything to really celebrate, right?
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