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Pokemon Black Progress Part I: It's all about Teh Pig

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Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII
Alternate Title: Monkey fuck
Alternate Title 2: The Fundamentals of Proper Item Use

So let's review before we get into this entertaining and informative hodgepodge of ranting and raving. But mostly raving.

Actually, I changed my plans. Instead, I was starting with Tepig. But then I changed my plans even further, but well, you'll see. Anyway, with the assistance of Mr. @Karamazov;, I was able to acquire a Pawniard egg on my White, which I would then transfer to Black. Because it's fucking Pawniard, and I'm not waiting until the designated time for that. But funny story there. My connection is WPA, see? And so I have to run across the complex to get a wireless signal. So I had to run in and out of the house repeatedly while managing issues. Apparently, he made a typo or something. X_X

But anyway, Pawniard egg acquired, and so I decide to fire up Black on my DS original. Apparently the time isn't set properly there though, because my adventure started on May 1st, 2000? But whatever. I pick Tepig, reset a few times to get a good Tepig (fucking opening battles), and then all the typical stuff goes down.

On Routes 1-2, The Pig pretty much makes a mockery out of anything in its path. Then we hit the place called Striaton.

Now, the original plan was to use Simisage, because it's cool enough to stand above the starters and its dopey friends. Like, Simisear is like "durr i dunno", and Simipour is a complete hippie. But, that was all-in-theory, and probably as a starter replacement. But Teh Pig is actually pretty cool I guess. And with that in mind, well, remember! If you weren't aware, you have a grand total of five available Pokemon before the first gym: your starter. Lillipup. Patrat. Purrloin. And a monkey. Not even trades are available. If you've read about my Pokemon in MS Paint Topic, you'll know my feelings on Pokemon Nintendo pushes down our throats. And these monkies are the very epitome of it. Especially due to the new EXP system: it's like they intentionally set it and the level 17 evolution up for you to use them. Your rivals use them. These gym leaders use them. Fuck, even the GAME FREAK superboss uses all three.

So fuck that. We can do this without.

Cheren wasn't too bad at all. Oshawott couldn't get it together in time before it was Tackled to death. One Tackle took down around half, I used a Potion and Tail Whip, then the rest of its health was taken off. The gym underlings were no problem either. So then the moment of truth.

And you know, I hate that changed gym music for the final Pokemon, especially because of gym leaders using their Pokemon out of order, so you sometimes get it when like Elesa's second Emolga is out. But it really is epic in a spot like this. So here's what I did. Four Defense Curls on Lillipup, healing, then Flame Charge until it was KTFO. Then came out Panpour, and my goal was to get its literal monkey ass out of my sight. This wasn't too terrible. The battle basically went like this.

Tackle -> Water Gun -> Tackle -> Water Gun -> Potion -> Water Gun -> Potion -> Repeat

Each Water Gun took off between a quarter to a third of my health. A Potion healed slightly more than that. I used around four of them in the fight, tending to begin the healing when I was down to around half. And as with Cheren, I used Tail Whip and Tackle at the end, to prevent item use on part of my opponent.

What if that failed? Well, reset. This isn't a fucking Nuzlocke. And if worst came to worst, I had a Level 100 Zekrom. >:D Fuck yeah, 5 Pokemon restrictionating can't stop Mystery Gift, bitch.

Team Plasma at the Dreamyard isn't even worth talking about, as I beat each of the grunts in a single turn with Flame Charge.

So yeah, that's where everything presently stands with this. Still can't believe my DS-Normal has a time of 2000, haha. Probably going to go 12 years into the future from now on, though. Or say "fuck it" and make time my complete bitch.

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Updated 18th October 2012 at 07:27 PM by System Error



  1. Karamazov's Avatar
    Teh Pig kicks ass! \m/ >.< \m/
    Also, use your time control powers to make it eternal winter, thus freezing the region.


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