No one cares about the non-Nintendo parts of E3?
by, 2nd June 2009 at 03:58 PM (276 Views)
You fucking INFIDELS.
Sadly though, Nintendo is actually the best of the bunch (in terms of games). SMG2 with Yoshi? A NSMB style game? A new Metroid game? Golden Sun DS? No More Heroes 2? Fuckin' Tales of Monkey Island!? Holy shit hell yeah, motherfucker! On the DS side, Golden Sun DS is bitchin'. Mario & Luigi 3 needs Bowser fully playable. I don't give a fuck about Kingdom Hearts, and Zelda: Spirit Tracks was nothing special. Oh, and then you have a bunch of other stuff no one gives a shit about. Red Steel 2 (the Wii should've been a haven for FPSs, but wasn't for whatever reason), but meh.
On the 360 side? You got Left 4 Dead 2. I like L4D as much as the next guy, but releasing a new version so soon seems pretty weak (but should be good). Halo 3 ODST seems all right, and is an interesting concept, but it'll probably disappoint (same goes for Halo: Reach). Metal Gear Solid: Rising? Whatever the fuck "Lightning Bolt Action" is, I don't like it. Raiden as a main character will probably disappoint this time (it worked before since you got to see Snake from a 3rd person perspective, but now I'm not so sure), but who knows. Crackdown 2? The original Crackdown was a good sandbox style game. And...that's it. It had virtually no storyline missions, even with DLC. If they improve that though, we're good to go. Mass Effect 2 is also good. And exclusive Beatles DLC for Rock Band. Splinter Cell 360 is indeed exclusive, etc.
Sony's side. Fat Princess is coming out this month; it should be fun. And there's also Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2. And God of War 3, which should kick ass (even if it is more of the same). Most of the rest was PSN stuff. With two notable exceptions! First, there's a new PSP model. The PSP Go, which sounds like a name Nintendo thought up for them as a favor. There's no UMDs, as I mentioned they're trying to do in an earlier blog. It's incompatable with the PSP's standard memory sticks (PRO Duo); you need to use the Micro sticks. Which are around the size of a fingernail. What the hell is up with technology getting smaller and smaller nowadays?! In my fully-correct-for-once opinion, it just spells "E-A-S-I-E-R T-O L-O-S-E". To drive that point home, PRO Duo sticks were said to have a theoretical limit of 2TB. No, not GB, TB. Tera-fucking-bytes. Micros have a limit of 32GB. Sometimes, size does, in fact, matter. Basically, if you get one, you'll be kicking away every UMD game in favor of a bunch of flash memory. If it can get custom firmware (and it will come hell or highwater, given how hardworking and generous the PSP CFW community is), it may be something worth getting. Oh, and it's getting a Metal Gear Solid game too (Peace Keeper); not much more info on it except that it takes place 10 years after MGS3. Should help fill the gap between PO and Metal Gear 1. Hopefully.
The other big thing Sony's getting? Why, only something that was kept secret that will appease SquareEnix' biggest fans and PS3 owners alike: Final Fantasy XIV! Oh, I forgot, it's another MMORPG. Gotta pony up $14.95 or something a month if you want to play! Personally, I took XI as a sign that I needed to get the fuck off that sinking ship. They've been doing almost everything wrong since then. I want my fucking Actraiser or E.V.O: The Search for Eden remake already.
Wait, there is another one! PS3 games are getting motion sensing! No, not SIXAXIS, I'm talking more akin to the Wii, baby! Actually, not like that either: this will be a 1:1 motion sensor. Except it won't be the focal point of the console; the controller is still around. And it seems to have motion sensing built into it (rather than using a remote control or nunchuck). Some people are saying this may even be a PC-killer; it could kick the shit out of mouse aim and do what Nintendo has failed to do: produce a good FPS that uses motion sensing on their console. We'll have to see how this develops, though. 360's got one too - the Natal - but it looks like pure, unadulterated shit.
And that's it so far, basically. I'd say all the consoles were on even footing this time around. Nintendo surprisingly didn't disappoint with the games (I was expecting garbage like Cooking Mama and Wii Fit 2 - and got them - but got other stuff anyway). I believe there's a couple days left too, so we'll have to see what happens. Anything can happen at this point. Even a swine flu infestation (which, like I said, is probably already spread around the world)!
Wait, I didn't say that? Oh. Well, all right, better late than never. Since it was announced uncharacteristically late (usually, they're announced in the last quarter of the year), they more than likely knew full well about it around that time. They just chose not to announce it due to the state of the economy at the time. There are likely a lot of unreported cases as well; especially in Mexico (1/50 death ratio is too big, it's likely less than that meaning there are a LOT more infections than 5000). But it's still nothing to worry about.
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