Most new type ideas are objectively stupid 2 the dismantling
by, 19th February 2013 at 12:42 AM (507 Views)
To start, it should be said that we do have to question why they decided to hide the types of the latest Pokemon. Naturally, we can't jump to any conclusions either. But let's look at a few things, shall we?
With this being said, I would like to say that there are at least two ideas not mentioned there that could work, one for certain. However, solid as they might be, they'd never happen for different reasons.Swamp: The most amusing problem here is, it would mess with Swampert. It has a bunch of other fundamental flaws of course, but this is one of those with the dubious honor of being so-not-possible it goes into parody
Light: The most infamous idea, but actually one of the ones that is on the right track. While the whole "its Evil" and "Fighting is the true opposite" thing is actually more of a pain to hear about IMO, if we make it Holy, as in, godly angellicness, then this is an acceptable answer. Possibly. Of course, Light =/= Good, and Dark =/= Evil, never mind that the last one does, in fact, equal evil in Pokemon.
Sound: Heard (LOLOLOLOL) this more than once and personally want to kick people in the face over it. Sound is not a quarter-bad idea for an attacking type, but it has basically no merits as a Pokemon type. Musical instruments are just dumb. And to reiterate what I said before it was completely cut out for indirect reasons, Loudred is an awful Pokemon line. Except for Whismur. Not that putting this type on anything else that could work would be of any benefit to them either.
Love: What the actual fuck? Doesn't even work for anything. A few attacks maybe, but definitely not for the Pokemon. Besides. Love is just an abstract concept. It can't knock down stuff.
Faerie: What kind of spelling is that? Awful spelling. And I've seen this. It's one of many attempts to try to rebrand the types of Pokemon. Except this one is en masse! While it's happened before and thus has the potential to happen again, as far as new types are concerned, nothing like this will ever happen. Maybe we will see a Magnemite/Magneton, but not like 50 of them.
Mystic: Better than most. This is not high praise. This would fit if and only if it were in the vein of Holy, and might be a bit more of a broad scope to encompass lots of different things instead of just the holy gods. Plus, the trick with rebranding types established from Dark/Steel is to change the game just a little. Done the right way, there's just enough out there to make a case, getting out of the "objectively stupid" range but still not into the "objectively plausible" one.
Magic: Magic is a mainstay of many RPGs, but it's one of two things: elemental or non-elemental. It'd be cool to see a wizard or witch Pokemon who could pull all sorts of crap from its robes, but those aside, it's better as a concept. Since the embodiment of magic is quite uncommon.
Fabric: I've seen people taking this one seriously. Like, what the actual fuck. Fabric is the opposite of sound: sure, you might be able to make a case for it being a Pokemon's type, as completely and utterly retarded as it might happen to be, but as for an attacking type it is completely stupid. The fact that the only attack I can think of is Yarn Ball Cannon says something.
Alien: Just another pathetic attempt to retype Pokemon. Dreadful.
Computerish: See above. Electric and Steel can split the duties here, even though Porygon is a Normal type.
Glass: Weak to ALL FORMS OF PHYSICAL ATTACK, INCLUDING THEIR OWN IN THE FORM OF RECOIL. Great type, guys!
Synthetic: This is on the right track. But it's still way too far removed.
Atomic/Nuclear/Energen/etc: Reasonably common, and objectively the most logical. Radiation is one of the four fundamental forces of nature, and has decent potential in both Pokemon and moves (more than can be said about gravity). Also covers some of the points about synthetic types. It would never happen, of course. Too much controversy around nuclear power plants and bombs in Japanland. If it weren't for that though, I'd say this could be a shoe-in.
Giant Masses of Guts: There's nothing really like this out there right now. But it could work for various different things that could be, from detached eyeballs to rotting zombies. Actually one of the few type chart changers that could be all right, since Poison could use more love. Probably the more reasonable of the two, if only very slightly so due to lessened options for moves - but they'd feel distinct. That being said, it'd still never happen. Think of the children! And they just wouldn't be marketable. Gotta print that money. It technically fits all the requirements, though, which is the only reason why I mention it.
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