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Holy fuckballs on a shitty bitchstick, amazon.ca blows ass.

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by , 21st December 2009 at 07:42 AM (388 Views)
No, I'm not kidding. It really does fucking blow ass. In fact, the explitives don't do it justice. Their selection compared to the US store is so goddamned limited, it has to be some overly patriotic guy's idea of a sick joke.

So like, lemme give you a quick example. To prove it, ya know? Let's say I want to get a nice hat. So I do the logical thing and search for "hat". What comes up? The Cat In The Hat, I Need A Hat, The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat: And Other Clinical Tales (no seriously). But no actual hats, outside of a chef hat and witch hat.

Or hey, maybe I want a flashlight. Well, I'll find a bunch of replacement bulbs for flashlights, an album called Flashlight by a band named Flashlight (again, seriously), and a few multitools that have flashlights in them. But no dedicated flashlights. Is that so much to ask!?

Maybe I want to touch up the wheels. Or maybe the home. Yeah, let's go with the home. So what do you need for most renovations? A hammer, right? Okay, you need nails, but let's disregard that for a moment. So I search for hammer. Well, I get a meat hammer. And a product by Arm and Hammer. Surprisingly little MC Hammer, but I do get the hammer horror collection.

Golf clubs? Baseball gloves? Hockey sticks? I'll get a bunch of books on them or their respective sport, maybe a cookie cutter or two, but no actual sports equipment. But if I break my equipment, the books will be more than happy to tell me what to turn it into. Maybe I want to get blinged up with jewelry, or give some to that special someone? Ha! I'll find books on the different kinds, holding boxes, and a video game, but god forbid if I want any actual jewelry. Even something as simple as a fucking pen or pencil won't get me much luck. I do get a couple pens, if and only if we count digital pens (though I mostly get posters depicting pens), but the pencil department only gives me stories about using them, stealing them, and maybe a little $900 art.

But on amazon.com? I'll find all that - and more! At great low prices! Or to put it another way, if I want a fucking pencil, it'll give me a fucking pencil. No bullshit there. But to top it off, amazon.com doesn't ship most stuff outside the US.

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Updated 21st December 2009 at 07:47 AM by System Error

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  1. Ekard's Avatar
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    Amazon, that I remember, was first and foremost a book selling site. It kinda grew into an ebay sort of thing... It still doesn't reach all over the World. It's getting there, just slow about it, probably because it's more tied to Corporations while Ebay is more individuals. I don't know the History of Amazon however...

    Or maybe no one in Canada cares to sell anything?
  2. YoshiSage's Avatar
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    The title is a bit much... ._.

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