I may be schizophrenic, but at least we have each other.
I suffer from kleptomania. When it gets bad, I take something for it.
i used to know this pyromaniac. he was a total flamer.
Two men were in a clinical laboratory. One of them was moaning badly, the second man asked him the reason why he was whining so badly. The first man replied, "I had come for a blood test and they cut a part of my finger." The second man replied with a great amount of fright, "Oh no! I have come for a urine test!"
"Doctor, doctor, I only have 59 seconds to live!"
"Wait a minute over there, please."