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Tell My Mother, Tell My Father, I've Done The Best I Can

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No, this is not a suicide note, or me running away to live my life somewhere else away from the prying eyes of my family and friends.

I just really like that song.


I think it might be the chorus. The chorus sounds grand and dare I say 'epic'. Classical strings always make things sound epic, that's why when I was in music production my main piece in Grade 11 was a strings piece. It was a beautiful arrangement, a suite if you will. There were 6 instruments, 2 violins, a violincello, a viola, a double bass and a snare drum. The piece had 5 parts, the opening which was a slow, epic part, something that you would hear at the beginning. The second part was what I liked to call the tense part, like a big decision was being made, it was slower in speed, but there were more notes making it a bit more complicated. The third part was what I called the high adventure part, something that you would think would be used in an adventuring montage or high action battle. The fourth part was the creepy part, slow with lots of awkward sounding notes. The final part is the same as the beginning, I just changed the end to make the big finish. I remember Mr. Zalis asked if I had any formal music training when he heard this piece, when I said I didn't he was surprised, and that made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Though as much as I like epic strings, I'm also a fan of rock and metal and I want to say jazz, but not typical jazz where it's segmented into different instrument solos. I prefer the jazz there's actually structure, no solos, but still has a jazzy feel to it, like instruments and the methodical jazz pace. I listened to some Ace Attorney stuff done in the jazz style, then listened to some of it done with an orchestra, I was curious if they were the same song, because the jazz was so random and filled with solos that I couldn't tell what part they were at. I also like J-Pop, certain songs mind you, but it's still on my mp3 player and on my main playlist in Winamp. Couldn't tell you why I like it, maybe I'm secretly Wapanese and don't even know it, maybe they're musical Lays (betcha can't listen just once), or maybe they're just catchy. Hell it could be all three. Though really J-Pop isn't for everyone, and it's not like it's obscure stuff that no one has heard of, they're from shows that I've watched in the past and enjoyed. Though be careful where you listen to it unless you have no inhibitions about people thinking you're insane. I listened to it once while at Michael's, bad time for it to come on because his whole family was downstairs and it was a big 'What the fuck?' from all of them.

Last week my parents were away on their anniversary vacation as I'm sure many of you knew, and that meant I had the house to myself. Well that's not really true, because Michael was staying with me. It was a good week all in all, I had fun when everyone was over on Sunday night, had a good time making pasta and pizza at midnight during the middle of the week and an okay time on the weekend when Michal came to stay over. Would I do it all again though? Maybe. It felt like I was entertaining all week, instead of having a roommate, but I guess that's the way things are with Michael, he's usually very polite, occasionally breaking into bouts of insanity and threatening to tie your nipples around your neck and choke you. Not sure if he actually said that last one, but it sure sounds like him. I wonder if things woulda been different if I had a different roommate, like Joel or someone, but Joel had school all week so that sucked.

I don't know why, but I've always loved card and tabletop games, y'know the kind you can get at a comic book store or a 7-11. It's a one-sided love though, because the games obviously don't like me. I'd always be the weakest player at the meet-ups that happened, at least the weakest of the good players anyway. I think it was the fact that I didn't have the money to support the hobby, so I'd be stuck with only marginally good cards and characters while people who could buy several decks or packs at a time could get all the amazing cards. The games were never balanced, they just expected that since people were always buying cards that there would be a natural progression towards the more powerful cards.

Right now, I'm working on a card game. It's not gonna be anything big, and since I'm borrowing a few things from other games, like the battle system from Phantasy Star Online Episode III CARD Revolution and a few classes and items from the newest Fire Emblem game I can't exactly sell it. Besides, limiting it to Winnipeg wouldn't make me much money, especially if the only way to get the game out there would be through word of mouth, because there's no way I could afford the necessary advertising, manufacturing or shipping costs. I'm planning it on distributing it online through my deviantART account. Because people will have access to all the cards, the game has to be balanced so that true strategy can prevail, not just 'Oh, I play the super-duper-ultra-rare destroy everything card so I win'. Maybe I'll be able to get it off the ground, and get a demand for it.

Jeez, it's hard to make these things connect. That whole music paragraph was an afterthought when I realized there wasn't a connection between the first paragraph and the third paragraph. Sadly the only connection I could come up with for the second and third paragraph was Michael. I was thinking something involving being able to listen to it without having to worry about parents, and that probably would have made more sense. But I've been writing for the past half and hour so cut me some slack.

Are you aware we all feel jealous from time to time, that it's not our emotions that defines us, it's how we act on them. For example, the other day my boss pissed me off. He blamed me for a screw up that was someone elses fault whom he liked more. Since I was involved, he blamed me. He wouldn't listen to any explanation, and totally ignored the proof I offered him--and I even had a witness! My first emotion was great anger, and then revenge. But I knew that was wrong and would have made me as bad as him. So I let it go. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy--it was like a fire raging inside me; and I still get angry every time I see him. But I know in time the anger will fade...then I'll have something to be very proud of.

Y'know, it's pretty clear out today, which means it's probably pretty cold and windy.

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