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No One Knows What It's Like To Be The Bad Man, To Be The Sad Man, Behind Blue Eyes

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by , 16th March 2009 at 01:17 AM (3979 Views)
Fuck fucking fuck. Stupid Google crashes my browser, now I have to rewrite this whole thing.

Or I could not.

Or I could, because someone will read this. Maybe two people. You know who you are.

I was going to write something here about how I feel that work is a privilege, but I couldn't get my thoughts straight, and that was before the browser crash. Besides I'd probably have a pretty weak argument.

Fuck it, I'm writing new stuff, because the old stuff was bad.

So as I wrote a couple weeks ago, I spent nearly 200$ on games and manga. One of the manga books I picked up was the first 4 volumes of Black Lagoon. It's the story of a group of mercenaries operating in the South China sea, doing odd jobs for the triad, a division of the Russian Mafia known as Hotel Moscow and a bunch of other baddies.

The Black Lagoon crew consists of Revy 'Two Hand', a Chinese-American who grew up on the streets of New York. She's usually very edgy, teetering on the point of ready to blow your brains on the pavement with her trademark guns, the Cutlasses. Then there's Dutch, a big black guy who's captain of the Black Lagoon PT boat. He's a pretty enigmatic character but you do find out that he has a past in that part of the world, fighting wars for the US and the like. There's also Benny, a master hacker from the United States on the run from the FBI and the mafia, then saved by Dutch. Finally there's Rock, or Rokuro Okajima, a salary man from Japan turned outlaw after his company abandons him and leaves him for dead after he's kidnapped. He then joins up with the Black Lagoon crew.

The books follow the exploits of the crew around the world on their jobs. There's intense gun fights, intrigue and dialogue about the lives and ideals of gangsters and their struggles in the world that they've created for themselves. It's an awesome series, and I recommend you give it a read.

So a few weeks ago I received my yearly evaluation at Safeway. It was mostly good, but my manager's note at the end said 'Smarten up and smile, or you'll get demoted'. That scared me straight because I know better than to argue with a manager, especially when my job is at stake. I'll argue with other people, even if my arguments are flawed from the first sentence, and I know that doesn't make me look good. Anyways, I've tried to start smiling more, but near the end of a shift, I just get so bored and tired, and it gets so easy to default to the blank, melancholic look that usually sits on my face. Hopefully I can get promoted to customer service if I keep this up, because I'm good at my job, but I have to be happy doing it and if I don't look happy, then the customer isn't going to be happy. God damn service industry.

But I digress.

I have abolished the act of using the titles uncle and aunt for my parent's brothers and sisters. It just feels so weird and childish calling them that now, so now I just call them by their first names. I think I'm starting to piss them off though with it because two of my parent's sisters, Rhonda (my dad's sister) and Sherry (my mom's sister) have both called me out on it on separate occasions. I've ignored it both times it's happened. Maybe they don't want me considering them as equals or lesser people, because I'm not exactly the most successful person and they probably make more money than I ever will. I know that when my brother eventually gets married and has kids, they won't have to call me Uncle Danny or Uncle Dan.

Holy shit, in total including the time before the crash, I've worked an hour on this. Probably wrote a total of 9 or 10 paragraphs.

On Bulbagarden's Blog section, I have noticed that many people don't write big long expansive paragraphs. It's usually just small little snippets, short paragraphs, or just a few sentences. The one time I took an average, of all the blogs there were maybe an average of 3 - 4 paragraphs per blog, with about 3 - 4 sentences in said paragraphs. And there wasn't that much substance either. What I'm curious about is, why do these blog get more hits and more comments than mine? I put lots of thought and work into these hoping to get well thought out, sometimes comical responses. Instead I get nothing.

Maybe I'm just a self-absorbed prick.

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Updated 16th March 2009 at 11:12 AM by Board

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Comments

  1. System Error's Avatar
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    Duh, it's because no one wants to read about how some guy spent $200 on Japanese comics (seriously, what in the blue FUCK?). They want their long reads to be WORTH IT! Hence, why rants or stories are popular. And why I use a smaller format. Or to put it in layman's terms, it's just quality over quantity. No matter how well thought out it is, if it isn't something they want to read about, they won't read it. You need to know your target audience! Don't jump all over the place! Unlike in business, you should focus in things like these, not diversify. Don't just make it a place to dump your emotions and whine about your life! Whining that no one cares about said whining is also something to note not to do.

    That well-thought enough for ya, chief?
  2. DCM's Avatar
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    Says the man who posted four blogs In a row
    *runs*
  3. System Error's Avatar
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    And they still got more attention than this blog. <_<
  4. Board's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by System Error
    Duh, it's because no one wants to read about how some guy spent $200 on Japanese comics (seriously, what in the blue FUCK?). They want their long reads to be WORTH IT! Hence, why rants or stories are popular. And why I use a smaller format. Or to put it in layman's terms, it's just quality over quantity. No matter how well thought out it is, if it isn't something they want to read about, they won't read it. You need to know your target audience! Don't jump all over the place! Unlike in business, you should focus in things like these, not diversify. Don't just make it a place to dump your emotions and whine about your life! Whining that no one cares about said whining is also something to note not to do.

    That well-thought enough for ya, chief?
    Correction, it wasn't 200$ on just Japanese comics, it was games too. That doesn't make it any better, I know.

    The reason I jump around so much is because holy fuck it's boring to write about one thing. I've tried doing it your way, one topic per blog, but I get so bored and it gets so hard to make the paragraphs segue into one another. I write like I'm trying to make small talk, attempting to pique the interests of my readers, not like I'm explaining something long and drawn out.

    I also try to make my topics as quality as possible, with my meager understanding of everything and my laid back attitude. I don't try to write as many as possible, I just keep writing until I can't anymore, until all the topics currently on top of the bubble that is my mind have slide off into the abyss, allowing it to float off into the sky.

    And this isn't about getting hits, oh no, quite the contrary. Sure I can see my hits and feel proud knowing that people have read my thoughts, but I want to know their thoughts on the subjects. In a way, my target audience is everyone, I try to appeal to everyone's tastes. If you limit the subject of your blog, than you're limiting your audience.

    To me, my blog is a form of release, a way to get stuff off my chest. It's easy to write down thoughts and feelings about things relevant to you. Some of the most popular blogs on the internet are human interest. Have you every read http://bmgf.bulbagarden.net/www.fmylife.com? That's like micro-blogging for people who've had their life fucked, and it's a very popular website, it makes you think that everything could be worse.

    I'm not trying to say your wrong, I'm just trying to justify my style. It's my style, not yours, and it's been working out for me for a long time.
  5. Crankyman's Avatar
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    Dude, everything you write is a bit on the long side. Just looking at it makes me pull a tl;dr.

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