Every Year Is the Same, and I Feel It Again, I'm A Loser, No Chance To Win
by, 5th March 2009 at 02:12 AM (2582 Views)
Damn, I had a really interesting topic to talk about that I thought about earlier in the week while at work, but now I can't think of it. I think it had something to do with weather or something like that.
God damn TV is is making it difficult to concentrate, but the Demetri Martin show is funny. Music on the other hand only makes it slightly difficult to concentrate. I remember at school, when we were actually allowed to listen to music it was good. Every now and then though I have to turn it off in order to think. It makes me sad that they banned use of portable media players (mp3 players, iPods and the like) while in class, and it made the last year of school rather difficult. There was no way to block out the idiocy, random conversation, and allowed you to get some work done in your own little world.
Jesus christ, I can't think, time to turn off the TV.
There we go.
I've noticed that at home, even with music, I never get any work done. I always say, oh I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, but I never get it done and I don't know why. Maybe I'm just a lazy person at home, I correlate home with lazing around, playing video games, watching TV and eating food. Though I have noticed if I feel some pressure, such as the day before my parents came back from their vacation, I will get my ass off the couch and clean. I really have to turn home into a place where I can get some work done.
As good as it is, I hate choice. Choice has ruined so many golden opportunities for me, it also makes things confusing. Say work calls and asks me to come in, I say no. I'm choosing not to go to work and get paid. Though if I work a shift, I'm going to show up for it. I've only called in sick twice, and both times I wasn't sick, once was because I wanted to hang out with Mike, the other was because I had to go to some sort of tour at Winnipeg Technical College and find out it is a much better school that Herzing, and a quarter of the cost. I also hate it when my parents say 'Could you please do such-and-such?' or when someone at work says 'Could you please go to express (when I don't have a choice)?' It irks me because they're adding choice where there should not be any. I usually ask 'And if I refuse?' and I know it pisses my mom off. I'm not a grammar freak or some kind of English Nazi, it's just stupid, I need orders, I need structure.
Of course that doesn't mean I want my life to be devoid of choice, I still want the right to choose, it's just sometimes it's nice when a decision is made for you, a la a schedule or orders or a list of some sort.
The same thing goes for games, I absolutely hate open world games. There's just way to much to do and I end up doing none of it, so I can't play games like Oblivion, Mass Effect or Fallout and why I prefer more typical RPG fare with the big quest, minimal side quests and of course an interesting battle system that allows for interesting tactics. But that's not to say that I don't need a bit of space to maneuver in games. I like being able to complete missions in Fire Emblem any way I please, same with Advance Wars where using different strategies was the key to victory. I don't want an excessive amount of choice, just to be able to play within the boundaries set for me.
I like GTA4 though, but that game is so god damned polished and every mission feels like you're doing something important, so instead of being just one choice after another, it feels like an expansive and long game.
Wow, I was able to write a lot without that TV on.
Just a random thought here, if I ever win the lottery, I think I'll make a rain room in my house. It would be a giant room with multiple shower heads or those water spreader things used in buildings to contain fires. I would sit, or I would walk around and think. Walking around in the rain is good, it's like a layer of animosity and anger is melting off you. The temperature and strength would be controlled in the room, and since I would probably be using a lot of water in this room, I'd have to have my own separate water system from the cities so that I don't get a super high water bill. I'd get that, and a slurpee machine, and you all know why.
Didn't even have any music, and I was really focused.
Good for me.
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